For Emily.

Today was a good day.

Today I did not cook for myself, I did not get much sleep, but I sat around and read. And I watched shows that made me laugh. And I got all dolled up and punked out-- just because I felt like it. And then went nowhere, didn't even leave the apartment-- because I didn't feel like it. I put pictures around the house, rearranged my room, did a ton of writing--got down all the important thoughts. Took the time to sit and stare out the window at the rainy day. Took the time to have important thoughts. The book I read was good, and it was good that I stopped and read it early in the day. Lynne Hybel's "Nice Girls Don't Change The World". It spoke to my soul. Much of what it said will come out later, and is right now between it and my soul, but it calmed me, reassured me, even ordered me not to strive. Go find some joy, it said. So I listened to country music. I changed outfits according to mood. I unpacked my books and shamelessly flitted from project to project as mood would take me. I didn't shackle myself to anything, but made inches of progress almost constantly. I refused to answer my phone. I ate Cherry Garcia out of the carton in front of Sex and the City on DVD. I painted my fingernails bright purple. I took my pills on time. I opened my french doors and stood on my balcony breathing the air of summer rains. Everytime I wanted to know something, I googled it immediately. Everytime I thought of something I wanted to explore, I wrote it down. I listened to Miley Cyrus's "7 Things" more than 12 times in a row. I danced in my kitchen. I forgave myself, a little, for not saving the world or inviting anyone to dinner, or calling anyone to keep in touch. I enjoyed my company. I can't say I was super intentional about invoking Jesus to spend the day with me, but something inside quieted a bit, and I am a little more at peace.

Today was a good day.