In this boredom bore down

chisel
paint thinner
sandpaper
strip me down raw
rainbow of colors and grime
so many attempts to match
this room, the world
or stand out on my own
brighter

in this boredom bore down
silence stories and escape
under numbness
through the feelings
explanations
past narrative
layers and layers of why
bare away the broken wax
stray hairs stuck in shellac
scrape away the scales

naked and unfinished
open again to the rot
and the swelling of water
but also air and anointing oil
balm for each nick
blemishes filled
wooden wounds smoothed
splinters removed

waiting
willing to be weathered
what shall i bear?
i just stand here
assisting in my own woodshop surgery
while awake
i can barely wait to be ready
to bear real weight or a new coat of paint
so bored of sanding out stain
so unsteady
aware i'm unworthy
sit me to smithereens
let me be strong or done

kind carpenter
meek
strong
restrained
refuses to break the bent branch
rinses, repairs

all the weight of glory is yours
and i, even i, eyes fixed on you
am even as a humble wooden chair
also your throne.